It’s not content to just lie there an die, some of the hatrid and confusion has been inhaled and now swirls around my skull eating my brain from the inside driving me insane I don’t know what to do, say or go.

I thought I was from the generation that defines everything with the same blazay indifference, it’s your life do what you want I dont care it doesn’t effect me. But the truth is.. I am a hypocrite.

I say one thing and lie to myself that I’m cool with following the crowd but when it comes to me this close and I’m faced with my broken heart and all the times I’ve put barriers up and the one time I let them down it all crashes down everything gone in an instant the only thing left is the sound of my heartbeat, and his footsteps walking away.

This is more like something you see in a hollyoaks episode full of drama this isn’t real life.. how can it be true? why the hell is it effecting me like this? It happend years ago so why does it hurt so damn much.

Last night I had the worse headache ever recorded in human history it started mid afternoon and got worse and worse to the point where I couldn’t open my eyes or move my head never known anything so bad next time I have a slight headache I’ll just shut my mouth.

So tonight is the Panto! I’m going to see it with my family and Jon’s family at the Mint he’s gonna be backstage working the lights and taking things of stage but he’s said he might make an appearance at the finale so I’ll be there watching out!.
Should be good =] YAY!. I havn’t seen him since Monday I miss him so much it’s crazy I’ve never had that feeling where I needed someone around it’s disconcerting but calming at the same time..

Umm there is probably way more I should fill in but I’m a bit scatterbrained today, wanted to say Hey and Thanks! to Sinead (bones) for are chat the other day sometime you get stuck in a rut and you feel like nobody gets you but you just totally get me and I need that sometimes! I’m hear for yah.

The fact of the matter is, the majority rules. Making constructive changes is all you can do to try and sway people. Anything destructive just tarnishes your own reputation.

What’s popular is popular for a reason. Those reasons may be superficial or difficult to see for narrow minded people; but attempting to destroy anything popular is a completely redundant action.

I just do what I want and watch it roll of my shoulders

I’m uber bored… and you guessed it bordem leads to abusing the photobooth on macbook =]. OMGOsh I am so sick of this rain it’s uggggggghness been out in it twice today too, mum had a fairtrade delivery but not all of the food came and some of the stuff that was missing happend to be 2 items that people were specifically asking for so we jumped in the car went over to teighnmouth and checked out the oxfam stock. Which was LAME honestly it was so much better when I worked there but today it just looked like old stock very disapointing they didn’t have what we needed so that was a wasted journey.. I made up for it though went into new look and got a tshirt with only the most cutest character ever I am talking about the one the ONLY….. ANIMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!. =] =].

This is turning out to be a long blog, so frankly if you’ve had enough you can skip the next few paragraphics but if you are still interested I’ll let you know what’s coming. Firstly jumping on the google bandwaggon, followed by more macbook pics.

Googleness; Yesh matey!! I figured after tidying up my computer files my emails were next, I spent an hour or so going through my 2 email accounts deciding what I wanted to keep and what I didn’t and saved all my stuff in a new google account which I’m not really going to use for sending emails unless I decide to confuse the hell out of everybody but it means I won’t keep getting the stupid “your inbox is full” sign on my orange acct. So that was very usefull and thank you JON your the best =] *kiss*. His patients is amazing.

Oh yes one more thing I just liked how it came out

Instead of upgrading from a free account to a normal pro account which costs you about $24 USD which translates to £12ish.. for 1 year subscription you could instead buy a “gift of pro account” and get yourself 3 months of free pro!!. Which we both did so now instead of having 1 year of pro for £12 we have 15 months of pro whoohoo!!!.

Okay this next bit is totally irrelevent to the previous paragraph but what the hey my vaio has been slow for ages so I finally got around to tiyding it up abit and it looks very nicely organised I also cleaned up and defragmented the disk drives and I now have a healthy 54% amount of  space!

I wandered over to the old park where I used to hang out they had a great slide and jungle gym set but some idiots, got drunk one night and set fire to it and practically a year later the park is still fenced up such a shame! but while I was walking around the outside I noticed someone had done something very creative to and old chopped down tree! check it out!!.

I think that’s pretty neat even if it is a little scary haha. It’s still sunny out so I might go out again after lunch and head over to the beach! get out there people

Firstly: Why is it that in human nature we no I’ll rephrase that it’s not a perfect world.. Most of the western world has suffecient food, water, money ect… but why do we always have the need for more stuff?? Why do I want so much more? I’m mad! Totally barmy..

I bought my first Apple computer! woot woot a very nice white apple macbook it’s so lush I can totally see why friends have said once you’ve tried apple you wont go back to windows.. they both have advantages and disadvantages but for the most part I’m pretty much satisfied with apple =] Tick! VG.

Ok so now I have my nice new laptop what is on my must have list? A new camera yes – I saw my boyfriend’s one a friend gave him and I’m so obsessed with it I’m nut’s where does this love of gadgetry come from? However I admire it and my boyfriend is so much better at photography then me I’m content to let him do the work and me love the results!!.
{the lush camera — Kodak C613 BLACK}